Coolness on scale from Latte to Cortado – The Handlers

Coolness on scale from Latte to Cortado

It’s Monday morning and you’ve just gone through most of your emails and all you know is that you desperately need a coffee.  You slip down to the trendy coffee shop across the road and order your usual.  But wait, did that barista just give you a dirty look?  Did he judge you by your coffee order?  Yep, that just happened. Apparently that’s a thing; judging people by the type of coffee they order.
Sure, it makes sense sometimes: you’re extra tired so you order a double shot espresso, you’re feeling hot so you order an iced coffee.  But it’s gone further than that, people are now judging your personality according to your latte.  And let me tell you, a latte does not earn you a lot of respect.
According to these people ordering a latte means you are a laid back person with no real pressures in life. You’re probably wearing flip flops and you wash your hair with organic hemp oil shampoo.  Don’t even dare ask for low fat soy milk!
Somehow, an espresso earns you a few points. You’re clearly a successful businessman of some sort, one step away from taking your coffee on a drip.
Asking for a cappuccino gives them the idea that you’re a chatty kind of person, roaming the city looking for baristas to converse with.  A flat white on the other hand will score you a few extra points. But if you really want to get a big smile of approval you order a dry meia, or even better: a cortado.  That’s the kind of thing that’s not on the menu, but they really wish you’d order it. All of this is a bit silly to me, so if the judgy looks get a bit too much for you, get yourself one of those espresso pots and learn to make a good cup at home.  There you can have all the low fat soy milk without any of the judgement. 

Author | Annamé Kleynscheldt

Annamé started her career in fashion as a personal shopper for Stuttafords, before landing a gig as fashion columnist for the lifestyle publication, The Month. Following a successful tenure in freelance fashion styling, working on both local and international publications, she has returned to her roots in personal shopping. Based at Topshop’s V&A flagship, she can be found saving one fashion victim at a time. |  Annamé on Twitter

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