The Journal – Page 3 – The Handlers

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Local is lame.

Is it just me, or are we seeing a lot of second rate fashion shoots these days in some major publications? Why is that? What are we missing? What is it that takes a model from nobody to Kate Moss? What does it take for a photographer to go from boring to Annie Leibovitz? Yes, of course unlimited budgets and good genes play a big role in their success, but it takes more than a pretty face and bags of money to create something truly gorgeous that will inspire and excite. I mean, just look at that nasty shoot Kimye did with Juergen Teller. Lately I've seen a lot of shoots that are just plain horrible. Lacking in concept, originality...

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Fashion = Magic x (beard length + Instagram)

  “I can’t believe people just come up with random crap that turn into trends and the whole world just goes crazy for it!” That’s the kind of statement that could get you slapped. And I think I deserve a reward for not slapping this person. “Fashion is a science!!” I hissed. And I’m right. Do you honestly think designers like Karl Lagerfeld and Vivienne Westwood invest millions each season into random ideas and scribbles dreamt up out of nothingness? No. They spend months planning every single detail of their collection to present it to the world to be scrutinised by fashion experts, bloggers and wannabe fashionistas who come from across the globe or glue themselves to their Twitter feeds...

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Know your basics.

And no, we are not talking about chemistry or substandard girls. In my training as an Image Consultant (yes, like Chata Romano. Can we continue now?) I was taught all about body shapes, colours to suit your complexion, face shapes and the dreaded “7 basics for every wardrobe”. The latter included things like “the tailored black trouser”, “the classic white shirt” and more such offensive generalisations. With every consultation I would be ready with my list of basics and even added some daring deviations like an array of cardigans. This gave the client clear must-haves for their wardrobe and off we went on our merry way to find these items that will save them from any future fashion emergencies. Now,...

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The Devil wears Prada.. or Mr Price or whatever

When you walk into a boutique or some haute-as-sh*t little designer shop and the snooty shop assistant gives you that look and just sits there behind their tiny little desk and watch you in contempt, it kinda spoils the experience doesn't it? You turn into this nervous schoolchild, trying to act as casual as possible while hurrying through the shop just to get away from all the judgement. And you leave there feeling small and poor and very uncool (You're just wearing a t-shirt and jeans? How very unfabulous, duh!) And so, you turn to Facebook and you rant. Quite rightly so. You rant about the bad service you just received, how you could have bought something if you really...

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It's not summer yet!!

It's not summer yet!!So WHY are we seeing tanks and shorts all around? (Did I spot a bikini??) Have retailers become like Capetonians, who at the first ray of sunshine proclaim their everlasting love for summer and set off to the beach? And does this mean that while the first snow is sifting down on the mountains, we now have to start buying our summer wardrobe? You know how the retailers start celebrating Christmas in September? Well, just because they plan in advance doesn't mean we won't wait until Christmas Eve to buy our gifts. It's the same with summer stock, just because it's there doesn't mean you have to buy it now. If you spot something you absolutely cannot be...

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